If your culture celebrates the beginning of January as "New Years," my greatest prayer for you is that you are able to lean into the inherent {goodness} of your being, just as you are, with no need to discard or "start over" any part of you. This doesn't mean staying stagnant and suffering. It means all of you, every part, deserves more love, not less. Our truest growth comes from that well-spring of the heart. This means holding our traumatized parts and discovering the seeds of love in them and their ability to grow and blossom into our most profound beauty. This means feeling those parts all the way through to their most terrifying core, and speaking love to them. Mothering them, fathering them. In a new way, a higher way. In the way our inner children are crying out for, that far surpass the abilities of our own caretakers when we were children, when we received our caretaker's view of the self and the world and were imprinted with it as "truth." We must offer our traumatized parts a place to exist and new courses to take, when they are ready. And with enough time, patience, practice, {safety}, support and presence, they will be.
Don't start over on this day. Breathe into the miracle that is your body in this moment, into the warm aliveness that courses through your veins, your lungs, the tears in your eyes. Step outside. Feel the winterglow of the sky space all around you, holding you, touching you, meeting you, meeting your life.
I am sorry you were not taught how precious you are. May the circle of seasons in this time of your life be full of many moments of remembering this, of feeling this, of knowing this, of living from this. Of seeing it in your own heart and in the eyes of others.
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