To wonder and to love

{{ Life lately }}

What I had thought was to be a weekly share of what moves me has become a share in spring and a share in fall. But I hope that these writings of love, however and whenever they come, bring new eyes and breath to your own life. What do you feel in awe of?

{{ For me }} :

There are many new & different desires in me, and a deep well of grief too, moving through my heart. I am making space to be with it all.

I am living with a new land. Its wildness sings old songs to me that I can't quite hear yet but I feel the wild animals : grizzly bears wandering the hemisphere of my mind & elk grazing in golden meadows at the small of my back.

I am doing a lot of witnessing & learning & feeling in this place.

Books are touching me. I cry over them in unexpected moments. It feels so good to be touched in this way. An intimacy with life. I have been reading The Lost Spells by Robert Macfarlane. All of it, from beginning to end, broke my heart with beauty. & Tree of Life by Tim Biskup.. not so much the art but all of his words at the end. I ate them up like honey. They felt that profound. A key to a lock.

I am asking myself :: How do I want to be. I am listening with trust and sometimes a wash of tears. I am giving myself to life as it wears me smooth like a stone in the ocean, rising up the sand and back down to sea. All I can be is here now, no matter what arises and calls for my presence.

My children. They ask for all that is good in me to come out & play. And I find it in me & give it again & again, feeling how much it is the key to a good & worthy life.

Our home with its beauty & comfort & windows of light. Its trees of fallen leaves, its beeswax candles, its bath tub & wooden floors. Where we sing, play, laugh, whisper at night around the sleeping baby, spread out books upon the floor, curl up on the warm floor before the fireplace. Thank you for these golden blessings that feel like a blanket to all that has been trembling in me.